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Previously on scream queens....
Does this killer wear
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A mask with horns and leave
a trail of green slime?
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You know who the killer is.
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I also know
that there's a connection
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To the halloween murders
that happened 30 years ago.
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1986.
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The entire hospital staff
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Was murdered
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On halloween night.
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Are you guys boning?
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I want you back.
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Back off chanel.
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I'm the recipient of the world's
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First complete hand transplant.
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Dr. Brock holt
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Has the hand of
one of the world's
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Most notorious serial killers.
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Now you know my secret.
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I love you so much,
chanel
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Ladies... We have another
serial killer on our hands.
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And the killer is...
Number five!
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What? Me?
Yes. You.
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I think poor, warty tyler here
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Probably saw you naked and
gagged, and you were so enraged,
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You decided to he had to die.
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What are you talking about?
I didn't kill him,
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I was with you the whole time!
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So? You were with us
a whole lot at kappa house
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When folks were getting killed
left and right.
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And i'm still convinced
you were responsible
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For at least some
of those murders.
You guys.
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There's a serial killer
on the loose, and hester said
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She had information
about who it might be.
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I think we should give in
to her outrageous demands
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For discontinued
designer cosmetics
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And get her moved
to this hospital.
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You idiot!
She'll try to kill us!
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Number five is right.
Neckbrace is dangerous.
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First, we need to do a little
detective work on our own,
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And then we'll go to hester.
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all right.
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Let's get this body
down to the meat locker.
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Last time we tried to hide a lot
of bodies in the meat locker,
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Like, every single
one of them got stolen.
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What is going on in here?
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Chanel
call the police?
Girls!
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This place is called
the c.U.R.E. Institute.
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Do you know what
the opposite of cure is? Death!
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Now, if word gets out
that we have two dead patients,
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At a hospital where the chanels
just happen to be working,
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That has the distinctive odor
of another serial killer
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On the loose, and we
cannot have that.
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Because all my hard work
will be for naught,
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They'll come in here
and close this place down,
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And i'll die!
Wait, what?
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I-i just meant that
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I've poured so much
into this place
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That if they ever closed it,
i would just die.
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Now, come on.
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We have to get tyler
into the swamp.
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Come on!
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Chanel
just throw him in the swamp,
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That's, like,
destruction of evidence!
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We are not destroying anything.
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Swamps preserve things.
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She's right. Every week, we hear
another story about somebody
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Discovering a perfectly
preserved caveman in a swamp.
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You're thinking of a bog.
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Okay, fine. I'm glad you took
a class in comparative wetlands.
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Maybe you could put in
the same effort
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Into figuring out
who the killer is!
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It could be any of you.
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That's why we have to
dispose of this body.
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It will buy us time so
i can solve this internally.
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I would just like
to say my good-byes.
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Oh, dear god.
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Tyler...
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I loved you.
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Warts and all!
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Oh, my god. Did you just
make his corpse barf?
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On three. One,
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Two...
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Three!
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All right.
Let's get back inside
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Before anybody sees us.
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And not a word about
this to anyone
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Ever.
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I love you, tyler!
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gross.
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Okay, we get it,
number five.
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Another one of your
boyfriends was murdered.
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Get over it.
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Hot dog!
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Anyone around?
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Think my jumping frenchman
of maine disorder
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Is cured.
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Hello?
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Oh! Hi there.
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This some kind of test?
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Fantastic. I honestly don't feel
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Any anxiety at all.
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I mean, you look very scary,
i'm gonna give you that.
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But no,
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All i feel is just
happy to be alive
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And ready to take on the world.
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Oh!
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Wow! This is incredible.
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I'm transformed...
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God! That hurts! Oh!
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No, no, no...
Please, please, please...
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Oh, god!
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Hello, chanels.
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Dean munsch.
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Hester,
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We come to you today
not as adversaries,
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Whom you had committed
to an insane asylum
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After framing us for a series of
murders that you orchestrated,
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But as fellow chanels.
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What's with the old
exercise video?
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Sweatin' to the oldies 2.
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When you leave, they'll
turn the volume way up.
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The warden does enjoy
her petty torments.
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Someone is targeting
the patients
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At the c.U.R.E. Institute.
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Two have been murdered,
and a third... Is missing.
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He's dead, isn't he?
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Of course he's dead.
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You know who the killer is,
don't you?
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I know who it is
because it's obvious.
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The clues are right there
in front of you,
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But i'm not gonna answer
any more of your questions
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Until you give me what i want.
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A transfer to your hospital,
and a room with a view.
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you see,
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That transfer's
never gonna happen.
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You're never gonna
leave this asylum.
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But i did acquiesce
to one of your requests.
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there it is.
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A room with a view, 1985.
Vhs version.
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Enjoy it.
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Don't toy with me, sluts.
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The longer you stall,
the more outrageous
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My demands will become.
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Now, i insist. You finalize
the purchase in my name
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Of a timeshare in cabo san
lucas, where i will enjoy
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Six all-expense paid weekends
a year, no blackout dates!
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You're insane!
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The clock is ticking, munsch!
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The killings will
only get worse
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Until i get what i want.
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Body count is about
to go through the roof.
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And from what i hear,
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This "green meanie" will make
the red devil look like...
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A girl scout.
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Please, hester. He's murdered
number five's hideous boyfriend.
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Please tell us who it is.
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All good things come
to those who wait.
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Oh, hester, please!
Hester, help us.
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Somebody was killed
at the hospital yesterday,
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And you're gonna tell us
who the killer is!
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the clues are right
in front of you, chanel!
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Oh...
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Your skin is looking
a little dry.
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Maybe you should try some
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Esrun cream.
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"esrun cream..."
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Oh, what is it?
It's a text.
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From chad radwell.
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See, he's saying,
"i know who the killer is."
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Which means, we didn't have
to come here in the first place.
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I hope you rot in here forever.
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Girls! Ride is leaving.
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Door!
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Pretty damning evidence,
is it not?
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I-i don't understand...
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All this is,
is a file of the man
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Who was dr. Brock's
hand transplant.
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There's a serial killer
somewhere in this hospital.
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He probably had
something to do with that dude
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That looks like
the fruit of the looms grapes,
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And my good buddy randal
disappearing from said hospital
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Without being discharged
or cured.
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Dr. Hairline over here
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Has the hand
of a deranged serial killer.
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We know from every
horror movie ever
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About people getting the hand
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Of a serial killer
put on their body--
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That hand eventually takes over
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And starts murdering folks.
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There is zero
scientific evidence
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Of any transplant recipient
exhibiting behavior
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Related to the donor.
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Wait, wasn't your hand
doing all that crazy stuff
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At the movie theater?
Yes, it was my hand,
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But occasionally,
it spasms and sort of
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Gives the appearance of,
uh, a life of its own.
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But i swear to god,
i would never
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Kill anyone with it.
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Chanel.
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You have no choice
but to reject this man
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And that gay, murdering hand,
and start boning me again.
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Chanel, before you say anything,
i just want you to know that i'm
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The highest paid
sperm donor in the state.
Oh, my sperm?
204
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Are we talking about sperm?
Yeah, we're talking about sperm.
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Oh, that's great.
We having a sperm-off?
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no.
Oh! Okay.
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'cause you know what?
I would win,
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Because i banged both women
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In this room.
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With my sperm!
Enough!
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00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,700
I don't choose you, dr. Brock.
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00:09:02,730 --> 00:09:04,770
And i don't choose you either,
chad.
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00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,700
I choose me.
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00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:09,870
Chanel oberlin.
215
00:09:09,910 --> 00:09:11,570
And i am not some
little girl anymore
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Who can be easily seduced
by whichever man comes along
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And has the most money,
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00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,680
Or is the most rich.
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00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,130
I will date who i want to date.
220
00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:23,080
Thank you.
221
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,850
Does anyone else find it odd
222
00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:26,820
That people started
getting attacked
223
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And disappearing at the same
time chad showed up? I mean,
224
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If there's a killer
amongst us...
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I say it's you, chad.
Yeah.
226
00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:36,730
hey.
227
00:09:36,770 --> 00:09:39,230
Listen. Chad is a moron.
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00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:41,070
I mean, he's probably
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The dumbest person i ever met.
And he's definitely
230
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The worst lay i ever had,
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00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:45,880
But that being said,
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00:09:45,910 --> 00:09:47,040
He does have a point.
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This hospital must stay open.
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The work being done here
must continue.
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It's very personal to me.
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00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:57,030
We can allow nothing to deter
patients from coming here,
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Including risking them
being scared off
238
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By the possibility--
however remote it may be--
239
00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,260
That we have a chief surgeon
240
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Whose hand takes over his body
and starts killing people.
241
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:09,360
You're not gonna
fire me, are you?
242
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,800
No! You're a brilliant surgeon,
and very easy on the eyes,
243
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:16,440
But i think we're gonna have
to do something about that hand.
244
00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:18,470
Outstanding.
I will go get my axe.
245
00:10:18,510 --> 00:10:21,880
No, we're not chopping off
his hand in the o.R.
246
00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:23,650
We are gonna look
for a new donor.
247
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:26,050
Preferably someone
who hasn't been arrested
248
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For multiple murders.
249
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It is that...
250
00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:32,650
Or i'm afraid i'm gonna
have to let you go.
251
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:38,090
Oh! Ooh, yes! Yes! Aah!
252
00:10:38,130 --> 00:10:39,230
Mm!
253
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:42,730
Aah!
254
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:46,400
By my count, that was
255
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,100
The fourth orgasm you've had
since you've been in here.
256
00:10:49,140 --> 00:10:51,110
And my 27th of the day.
257
00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:53,310
And it's 9:00 a.M.
I'm sorry.
258
00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:55,110
I just have
to know your secret.
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00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:56,610
I am in hell.
260
00:10:56,650 --> 00:10:57,850
That's my secret.
261
00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,110
Two months ago,
262
00:10:59,150 --> 00:11:01,420
I was in the middle
of teaching my yoga class,
263
00:11:01,450 --> 00:11:03,920
And as i was coming out
of sirsa padasana,
264
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,330
I had this, like,
spontaneous orgasm.
265
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,260
And i thought it
was funny at first.
266
00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:11,590
And then i had another one
a few minutes later.
267
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,830
And then i had another one
in the locker room.
268
00:11:13,870 --> 00:11:16,640
And then another one in the car
on the ride ho... Oh! Whoa!
269
00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:18,270
Mm! Oh, god!
270
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,630
It won't stop.
271
00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:21,270
It's destroying my life.
272
00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:23,780
My husband left me,
because he immediately realized
273
00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:25,870
That all my orgasms
with him were fake.
274
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,780
I am begging you.
Please make it stop.
275
00:11:29,810 --> 00:11:32,810
I'll do anything.
Remove my vagina, i don't care.
276
00:11:32,850 --> 00:11:34,720
Wait, can you actually do that?
277
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,320
How do you remove
negative space?
278
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:40,960
I don't know, but that,
that won't be necessary.
279
00:11:40,990 --> 00:11:42,990
Um, you see,
you have what's called
280
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:45,630
"persistent genital
arousal disorder"
281
00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:48,300
Or pgad.
282
00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:50,630
Have you gone
through menopause or
283
00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:52,630
Had hormonal treatments
recently?
284
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,700
They're known to be the cause.
285
00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:56,140
No, nothing like that, um...
286
00:11:56,170 --> 00:11:57,910
I-i don't do drugs or drink
287
00:11:57,940 --> 00:11:59,710
Or anything.
Okay.
288
00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:02,210
It's very hard to determine
what causes the disorder.
289
00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:04,580
But it doesn't really matter
in terms of treatment.
290
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:06,690
Our first step
will be to treat you
291
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,420
To a heroic dose
of antidepressants.
292
00:12:08,450 --> 00:12:12,090
Like what seaworld gives only
their most suicidal orcas.
293
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,560
Okay.
294
00:12:13,590 --> 00:12:14,990
All right, well,
thank you, doctor.
295
00:12:15,030 --> 00:12:16,190
I'll do anything.
296
00:12:16,230 --> 00:12:17,890
Oh, so--
oh, god!
297
00:12:21,030 --> 00:12:23,530
Chanel
Who was operating
in here anyway?
298
00:12:23,570 --> 00:12:25,430
A chad radwell guy
299
00:12:25,470 --> 00:12:27,870
Was butchering cadavers
for some reason.
300
00:12:27,910 --> 00:12:29,510
He said he was
practicing for surgery,
301
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,840
But mainly he was
just chopping off hands
302
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,880
And saying the f-word a lot.
303
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,510
Hey, you, um...
304
00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:40,350
You seemed to be bummed out
by that consult.
305
00:12:40,380 --> 00:12:43,380
There's something
i need to confide in you.
306
00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:45,550
A secret no one knows.
307
00:12:46,590 --> 00:12:48,260
I've never had an orgasm.
308
00:12:48,290 --> 00:12:50,460
Oh, wow.
309
00:12:50,490 --> 00:12:53,260
I didn't even know
what they were until recently.
310
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:55,130
I thought they were
just moans you did to let
311
00:12:55,170 --> 00:12:56,630
The other person know
to roll off of you,
312
00:12:56,670 --> 00:12:59,730
Like an "i'm ready
for you to stop" alarm.
313
00:12:59,770 --> 00:13:02,140
That's terrible.
314
00:13:02,170 --> 00:13:04,110
Orgasms
are pretty much
315
00:13:04,140 --> 00:13:06,640
The only thing everyone
in the world agrees are great.
316
00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:09,740
Well...
317
00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:11,810
Until hamilton came along.
318
00:13:11,850 --> 00:13:14,480
it's so original, right?
319
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,250
Oh, it reinvented theater.
320
00:13:16,290 --> 00:13:19,620
I mean, a rap musical
about the founding founders?
321
00:13:19,660 --> 00:13:22,120
Changed the world.
322
00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:26,790
And you know what's
really telling about me?
323
00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:28,060
I didn't even like it
that much.
324
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,430
This is all part of
325
00:13:29,470 --> 00:13:31,330
A larger problem
i have in my life.
326
00:13:31,370 --> 00:13:32,970
I am alive, but...
327
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,340
I'm not living.
328
00:13:35,370 --> 00:13:36,940
If it was possible
for me to feel anything,
329
00:13:36,970 --> 00:13:38,440
I would totally
be sobbing right now.
330
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,280
I understand.
331
00:13:41,310 --> 00:13:43,980
Better than you know,
actually.
332
00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:46,120
I have a secret of my own,
as well.
333
00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:48,620
Something i never share
with anyone.
334
00:13:48,650 --> 00:13:52,720
But since you opened up for me,
i want to do the same for you.
335
00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:56,870
I'm dead.
336
00:13:56,890 --> 00:13:58,690
You mean like "in trouble"?
337
00:13:58,730 --> 00:13:59,960
No, like...
338
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,860
Dead, like, actually dead.
339
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,630
I don't understand.
340
00:14:05,700 --> 00:14:08,600
It was my junior year
in high school.
341
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:09,870
My lacrosse buddies threw
342
00:14:09,910 --> 00:14:11,140
A rad-as-hell kegger
343
00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:12,380
And i got ham-dogged.
344
00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:16,210
My buddies warned me
not to pass out on my back,
345
00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:19,580
Or i would choke on my puke
like jimi hendrix and die.
346
00:14:21,150 --> 00:14:23,380
The next morning
i woke up on my back,
347
00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:24,850
Covered in puke,
348
00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:27,220
And i realized i did die.
349
00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:29,520
And now i'm cursed to walk
the earth for all eternity.
350
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,890
Like a highlander.
351
00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:34,200
Hold up, there was sort of
a big leap in logic there.
352
00:14:34,230 --> 00:14:37,630
Are you sure you didn't just
choke on your puke and die?
353
00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:38,970
Yeah, everything was different.
354
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,340
I started to notice that dogs
355
00:14:40,370 --> 00:14:41,700
Didn't bark at me anymore.
356
00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:44,710
Wait, so if you're dead,
357
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:47,340
How are you breathing?
I don't know.
358
00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:49,040
That's what i'm trying
to figure out.
359
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,650
That's actually why
i decided to become a doctor.
360
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,050
I needed to know if modern
medicine had an answer.
361
00:14:54,090 --> 00:14:55,760
So far, it's just
362
00:14:55,790 --> 00:14:57,150
Turned up more questions.
363
00:14:57,190 --> 00:14:59,250
I have no clue.
Maybe it's
364
00:14:59,290 --> 00:15:00,720
A night of the living dead
scenario?
365
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,920
Some sort
of zombie sitch or
366
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,730
Maybe there's, like, a task
that i have to accomplish,
367
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,330
Before the universe allows me
to die a natural death
368
00:15:09,370 --> 00:15:11,870
And my immortal soul
is allowed to finally rest.
369
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:15,000
And after
what you just told me,
370
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,910
I'm starting to think
maybe that task
371
00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:20,410
Is to help you
feel alive again.
372
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,750
That's very noble and romantic,
but i've seen so much
373
00:15:23,780 --> 00:15:26,250
Death and tragedy
and had so much loss in my life,
374
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,880
That it's like
i'm encased in steel.
375
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,790
Chanel
376
00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:33,090
Bringing people
back to life is what i do.
377
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,290
I may be dead...
378
00:15:35,330 --> 00:15:37,060
But you are not.
379
00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:39,560
Please give me the chance
380
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,830
To help you see that.
381
00:15:49,270 --> 00:15:50,740
Wow.
382
00:15:50,780 --> 00:15:52,880
Your lips are super cold.
383
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,580
I told you.
384
00:15:55,610 --> 00:15:57,680
I'm dead.
385
00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:03,940
chanel
C, a,
386
00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:07,280
B, i,
387
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,660
T, y--
"cabity."
388
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,820
Triple word score.
389
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:13,390
"cabity" is
not a word.
390
00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:15,050
Yes, it is.
391
00:16:15,090 --> 00:16:17,620
It's what happens when you
forget to brush your teeth.
392
00:16:17,660 --> 00:16:18,860
All right, fine.
393
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,690
Still beating you by 350 points.
394
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:23,460
Why are you guys playing
scrabble right now?
395
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,160
I got it off
of chamberlain's cart.
396
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:26,730
Scrabble helps me think
and it's good for the brain.
397
00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:28,400
We have a mystery to solve.
398
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,140
I just don't understand
why she said
399
00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:31,640
I need to use esrun cream.
400
00:16:31,670 --> 00:16:33,070
I mean, my skin is amazing.
401
00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:35,170
I moisturize
three times a day
402
00:16:35,210 --> 00:16:37,480
With this really shady stuff
i have to order from china,
403
00:16:37,510 --> 00:16:38,880
Which i've heard
is either
404
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,150
A) panda sperm,
405
00:16:40,180 --> 00:16:42,250
Or b) stem cells
of political prisoners.
406
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:45,920
I mean, i don't know.
I don't ask questions,
407
00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:47,650
Because i'm really pleased
with the results!
408
00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:56,060
That's it!
409
00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:11,140
Oh, hi there.
410
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:13,580
What are you doing here?
411
00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:15,720
Just airing out my scroat, brah.
412
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:16,780
What?
413
00:17:16,820 --> 00:17:18,280
Don't worry about it.
414
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:21,250
I said i'm airing out my scroat.
415
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,620
And i brought you
your list of handidates.
416
00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:26,360
My what?
Your prospective list
of hand donors.
417
00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:28,030
They're all in need
of fast cash.
418
00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:31,100
And i'm pretty sure
none of them are serial killers.
419
00:17:33,130 --> 00:17:34,870
Janusz brozowsky, 41, janitor.
420
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:36,600
He's ambidextrous.
421
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,570
Said he can still rock a mop
with just a left hand and a nub.
422
00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:40,870
Fred barnsdall,
423
00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:43,310
A 66-year-old accordion player.
Great guy.
424
00:17:43,350 --> 00:17:45,820
There's danny rodriguez,
assistant manager at subway.
425
00:17:45,850 --> 00:17:47,550
He said the job's
so boring he's just
426
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,980
Thinking about cutting
his hand off anyway.
427
00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:51,420
Get out.
428
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,550
Also, i'm gonna be
performing the surgery.
429
00:17:54,590 --> 00:17:56,760
No.
430
00:17:56,790 --> 00:17:59,220
There's no way you're
performing the surgery.
431
00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:00,660
There's yes way
i'm performing the surgery,
432
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:03,440
Because a) dean munsch loves me,
433
00:18:03,470 --> 00:18:05,340
B) this is a teaching hospital,
434
00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:07,900
C) i've been practicing
on a lot of cadavers,
435
00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:09,630
And d) did you notice that
436
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:11,470
Our wangers
are about the same size?
437
00:18:16,610 --> 00:18:19,340
now, remind me
again why we're here.
438
00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:21,280
"esrun" backwards
is "nurse."
439
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,180
When i googled it,
this came up.
440
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:25,320
An article in central
florida realtor monthly
441
00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:27,150
From about five years ago.
You know, we could've gone
442
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,190
Over all of this if you had
just flown with us on the plane.
443
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:31,260
Yes, well, i don't fly
commercial, just private.
444
00:18:31,290 --> 00:18:34,190
All right, "the house
that esrun built.
445
00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:36,600
"how nurse
lynn johnstone turned
446
00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:38,430
"homemade hand cream
into the crown jewel
447
00:18:38,470 --> 00:18:39,830
Of florida real estate,"
hmm.
448
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,270
So, there's a big
449
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:43,100
Mansion in the middle
of the everglades.
450
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:44,770
I still don't get what this has
to do with the green meanie.
451
00:18:44,810 --> 00:18:46,610
None of us do, you idiot.
452
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,670
But, obviously, hester
wants us to find out.
453
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,680
This is some
good sleuthing,
454
00:18:50,710 --> 00:18:51,680
Zayday williams.
455
00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:52,940
too good.
456
00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:54,150
Could you just stop?
457
00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:55,710
It's obvious i'm not the killer.
458
00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:00,990
Hello.
459
00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:02,350
We're looking
for a lynn johnstone.
460
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:04,290
Is she here?
461
00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:07,200
Excuse me, i'm lynn johnstone.
462
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:08,790
Mm?
You know,
463
00:19:08,830 --> 00:19:10,460
Eight percent of nurses are male
464
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:12,200
And lynn is a noble celtic name.
465
00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:14,130
It means "pool or "lake."
466
00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:15,330
All right, pretty in pink.
467
00:19:15,370 --> 00:19:16,800
Don't get your panties
in a bunch.
468
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,540
You mind if we come inside?
469
00:19:18,570 --> 00:19:20,510
It's as hot
as fish grease out here.
470
00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:22,010
And special agent hemphill
471
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:23,880
Is getting a little damp
in the crack.
472
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,090
Welcome to the house of esrun.
473
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,250
Watch your step.
474
00:19:30,290 --> 00:19:32,860
There's moisturizer everywhere.
475
00:19:32,890 --> 00:19:35,820
This is my in-home studio
where i film all
476
00:19:35,860 --> 00:19:37,920
The esrun cream infomercials.
477
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,730
We are in 150
different countries
478
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,030
And last year we grossed
over $350 million.
479
00:19:44,070 --> 00:19:46,740
Yes, well, that's
all very interesting,
480
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:50,100
But we're here about our lady
of perpetual suffering hospital.
481
00:19:50,140 --> 00:19:51,700
Your name
482
00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:53,410
Came up as a possible link
483
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,210
To some recent incidents
that transpired.
484
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,010
I used to work there.
485
00:19:58,050 --> 00:19:59,950
I was there the night
it happened.
486
00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:01,680
The night what happened?
487
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,950
An entire floor of patients
and staff were euthanized.
488
00:20:04,990 --> 00:20:07,420
Say what now?!
I was in the bathroom.
489
00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:09,400
Because i had to make
a big ol' number two.
490
00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:13,260
(echo and the bunnymen's
"the killing moon" playing)
491
00:20:13,290 --> 00:20:15,630
I was in that bathroom
for a while.
492
00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:17,930
See, i had just started
taking psyllium husks.
493
00:20:17,970 --> 00:20:20,030
And those things
scrub you like a brush.
494
00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:22,430
So i was doing some
Vocalizations
495
00:20:22,470 --> 00:20:24,770
To sort of work
through the discomfort.
496
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,610
And that explains
why i didn't hear anything.
497
00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:47,490
I talked to one reporter,
498
00:20:47,530 --> 00:20:49,590
But the hospital board
paid me $5 million
499
00:20:49,630 --> 00:20:53,830
In hush money and made me sign
a nondisclosure agreement.
500
00:20:53,870 --> 00:20:56,100
I put all of that money
into esrun cream!
501
00:20:56,140 --> 00:20:58,300
Which is actually just jergens.
502
00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,940
I put it in different
bottles and put
503
00:20:59,970 --> 00:21:02,570
A sticker on it that says,
"approved by nurses"
504
00:21:02,610 --> 00:21:04,280
And charge three,
four times the price.
505
00:21:04,310 --> 00:21:06,650
So, wait, you never got
a glimpse of the murderer?
506
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:07,950
I didn't have to.
507
00:21:07,980 --> 00:21:09,280
I know who did it.
508
00:21:10,390 --> 00:21:12,360
In october of 1986,
509
00:21:12,390 --> 00:21:14,290
I'd only been at the hospital
for a few months,
510
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,290
But i became best friends
with nurse thomas,
511
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,020
Who'd been there for years.
512
00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:20,690
And one night before she
and everyone else were killed,
513
00:21:20,730 --> 00:21:23,190
She was freaking out because
halloween was coming up,
514
00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:25,160
And it reminded her
of the year before.
515
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,770
When a pregnant lady and
her husband came into the er,
516
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,000
And the doctors
let her husband die
517
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,100
And threw his body
in the swamp.
518
00:21:32,140 --> 00:21:33,670
And a few weeks later,
nurse thomas,
519
00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:35,210
Along with everyone else,
was dead.
520
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,040
I knew there had to be
521
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,950
A connection between that
halloween and the year before.
522
00:21:39,980 --> 00:21:41,880
But i tried my best
to just forget about it.
523
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,880
But then a few weeks ago...
524
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,120
The phone calls started.
525
00:21:47,690 --> 00:21:50,620
Esrun, approved by nurses,
lynn speaking.
526
00:21:50,660 --> 00:21:52,320
I will come from the swamp,
527
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:54,230
Where you threw
all of the bodies.
528
00:21:54,260 --> 00:21:55,230
What?
529
00:21:55,260 --> 00:21:56,460
Who is this?
530
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:58,800
You have blood on your hands.
531
00:21:58,830 --> 00:22:00,800
I am a proud male nurse.
532
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,310
This is harassment!
533
00:22:02,340 --> 00:22:06,570
I'm going to kill again.
534
00:22:06,610 --> 00:22:08,810
They were trying to hide it,
535
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,080
But i knew that
it was a woman's voice.
536
00:22:11,110 --> 00:22:13,080
My first thought was,
"oh, my god,
537
00:22:13,110 --> 00:22:14,250
It's that pregnant woman."
538
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,250
Or the baby
of the pregnant woman.
539
00:22:17,290 --> 00:22:19,030
That occurred to me, too.
540
00:22:19,050 --> 00:22:20,520
Chanel
Or maybe the swamp
541
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,060
Is filled with
feminizing chemical agents
542
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,490
And they thought that it was
the guy that they drowned,
543
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:25,190
But he came back
as an androgynous swamp monster
544
00:22:25,230 --> 00:22:26,730
Bent on revenge.
545
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,360
Yeah, i think
that's less likely.
546
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:29,730
Thank you very much, nurse.
547
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,300
We'll be in touch. Ladies!
548
00:22:32,470 --> 00:22:34,370
We need these for evidence.
549
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,950
Well, i don't know why
you girls are so exhausted.
550
00:22:42,980 --> 00:22:44,380
My flight was divine.
551
00:22:44,410 --> 00:22:46,650
We had to
fly southwest.
552
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,780
We had a three-hour
layover in islip.
553
00:22:48,820 --> 00:22:49,780
Yes.
554
00:22:49,820 --> 00:22:51,650
But the trip proved helpful,
555
00:22:51,690 --> 00:22:53,290
Because we now have
a definitive link
556
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:55,720
Between the murders in 1986
557
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,390
And what's been happening
at the hospital.
558
00:22:57,430 --> 00:22:59,840
Hold on. This still
don't make sense to me.
559
00:22:59,860 --> 00:23:03,160
If the killer wanted to avenge
the death of the patient
560
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,330
That those nurses and doctors
threw into the swamp,
561
00:23:05,370 --> 00:23:09,000
Why he start killing now? Hmm?
562
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:10,740
He already got his revenge.
563
00:23:10,770 --> 00:23:13,070
Those nurses and doctors
already dead.
564
00:23:13,110 --> 00:23:14,140
That's right.
565
00:23:14,180 --> 00:23:16,020
That wolfgirl, randal, tyler,
566
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:17,180
They were all patients.
567
00:23:17,210 --> 00:23:18,640
Why would the killer want to
go after them?
568
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:19,980
Well, it makes perfect
569
00:23:20,010 --> 00:23:21,180
Sense to me.
570
00:23:21,220 --> 00:23:23,760
The killer wants revenge
on my hospital.
571
00:23:23,790 --> 00:23:24,820
And the best way to do that
572
00:23:24,850 --> 00:23:26,520
Is start killing patients.
573
00:23:26,550 --> 00:23:27,550
Now, we already know
574
00:23:27,590 --> 00:23:29,150
Who the killer is.
575
00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:31,590
It's someone at this hospital.
576
00:23:31,630 --> 00:23:33,260
Someone who's
over six feet tall,
577
00:23:33,290 --> 00:23:34,890
Which means he's probably male,
578
00:23:34,930 --> 00:23:36,400
Which rules out that mother.
579
00:23:36,430 --> 00:23:38,160
But the baby she was
pregnant with,
580
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,600
That little boy,
was born in 1986.
581
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,840
That makes him...
582
00:23:42,870 --> 00:23:44,070
Around 30.
583
00:23:44,110 --> 00:23:46,340
So, it could be cassidy.
584
00:23:46,380 --> 00:23:47,920
Or chad radwell.
585
00:23:47,940 --> 00:23:49,410
Chad's our age!
586
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,840
Nuh-uh.
587
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,180
Chad told me when he was
in the second grade,
588
00:23:53,210 --> 00:23:56,280
He got held back
for eight consecutive years.
589
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,220
His ass is 30.
590
00:23:58,250 --> 00:24:00,290
Or... It could be chamberlain.
591
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,190
Chamberlain?
592
00:24:02,220 --> 00:24:03,590
I mean, i guess it could be.
593
00:24:03,630 --> 00:24:05,190
I just never would have
suspected.
594
00:24:05,230 --> 00:24:07,160
I have to go!
595
00:24:09,260 --> 00:24:11,030
Hmm. Janusz.
596
00:24:11,070 --> 00:24:12,370
I need you to put your hand
on the cutting board
597
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,730
So i can saw your hand off.
598
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,740
It's a good looking hand.
599
00:24:18,770 --> 00:24:21,540
It's gonna sting a little bit.
600
00:24:21,580 --> 00:24:24,710
This is not how you
perform a surgery.
601
00:24:24,750 --> 00:24:27,080
You might want to se--
602
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:29,910
You might want to
sedate the patient first.
603
00:24:29,950 --> 00:24:31,950
Look, i know this is
a teaching hospital,
604
00:24:31,990 --> 00:24:33,990
And i have no problem
with dean munsch
605
00:24:34,020 --> 00:24:35,420
Letting you saw
the handidate's hand off.
606
00:24:35,460 --> 00:24:37,320
In fact, i'm such
a good surgeon,
607
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:38,490
No matter how bad you
botch this up,
608
00:24:38,530 --> 00:24:39,960
I'll be able to fix it
with one hand.
609
00:24:39,990 --> 00:24:40,990
Okay.
610
00:24:41,030 --> 00:24:42,330
You want to know what
no one likes?
611
00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,800
A back seat hand surgeon.
612
00:24:44,830 --> 00:24:46,500
And because you interrupted
my doctor flow,
613
00:24:46,530 --> 00:24:48,430
I'm not gonna sedate
either one of you.
614
00:24:53,780 --> 00:24:54,940
Stop the procedure!
615
00:24:54,980 --> 00:24:56,570
We don't have to do the
transplant.
616
00:24:56,610 --> 00:24:58,010
I know you're not the killer.
617
00:24:58,050 --> 00:24:59,780
Somebody's killing a bunch of
folks in this hospital,
618
00:24:59,810 --> 00:25:01,250
He's got the hand
of a serial killer.
619
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,410
No, no. No.
620
00:25:02,450 --> 00:25:03,980
The killer is
around age 30.
621
00:25:04,020 --> 00:25:05,820
Dr. Holt is
much older.
622
00:25:05,850 --> 00:25:08,420
But you're not.
623
00:25:08,460 --> 00:25:10,660
You are now my
prime suspect.
624
00:25:10,690 --> 00:25:13,530
Thank you,
dean munsch.
625
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,590
Now, i can get back
626
00:25:15,630 --> 00:25:17,100
Saving lives.
627
00:25:17,130 --> 00:25:20,500
And winning the hearts of nubile
young medical students.
628
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,170
Oh, you think this is
the end of the movie.
629
00:25:26,210 --> 00:25:27,640
It's not.
630
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:28,870
This is the
first part.
631
00:25:28,910 --> 00:25:30,380
Where the bad guy
beats the good guy
632
00:25:30,410 --> 00:25:32,110
And then the good guy
trains in a montage,
633
00:25:32,150 --> 00:25:34,280
Comes back,
beats the bad guy,
634
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:35,950
Freeze-frame
into a kiss with the girl,
635
00:25:35,980 --> 00:25:38,420
As my old and ethnic mentor
looks on!
636
00:25:40,350 --> 00:25:41,790
Listen, howdy doody,
637
00:25:41,820 --> 00:25:43,190
You're younger
than i am,
638
00:25:43,230 --> 00:25:44,400
You're richer than i am,
but let me
639
00:25:44,430 --> 00:25:45,820
Guarantee you one thing.
640
00:25:45,860 --> 00:25:47,990
The next body i touch
with these hands,
641
00:25:48,030 --> 00:25:50,400
Which i'm keeping,
will be chanel's.
642
00:25:50,430 --> 00:25:52,000
And i'm gonna get in my car
643
00:25:52,030 --> 00:25:53,830
And i'm gonna drive
to tiffany's.
644
00:25:53,870 --> 00:25:55,400
I'm gonna hand
the clerk my wallet
645
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:56,630
And buy an engagement ring.
646
00:25:56,670 --> 00:25:58,970
I'm gonna slip it
on her finger
647
00:25:59,010 --> 00:26:00,740
And marry her.
648
00:26:05,610 --> 00:26:07,180
I'm chad radwell.
649
00:26:07,220 --> 00:26:08,510
And i always win.
650
00:26:08,550 --> 00:26:10,350
No matter what.
651
00:26:10,390 --> 00:26:13,000
I don't think you know
who i am.
652
00:26:13,020 --> 00:26:15,020
Or what i'm capable of, chad.
653
00:26:15,060 --> 00:26:17,460
The things i've done,
the things i'm willing to do.
654
00:26:18,890 --> 00:26:20,730
If you're smart,
655
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:21,730
You will get in your car
656
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,900
And you will not come back.
657
00:26:29,470 --> 00:26:31,040
I don't understand.
658
00:26:31,070 --> 00:26:33,510
There's no history of
this kind of psychosis
659
00:26:33,540 --> 00:26:34,910
In her life or family.
660
00:26:34,940 --> 00:26:36,240
No no!
661
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,010
I got all
type of-- oh!
662
00:26:38,050 --> 00:26:39,410
Wait, i know
what this is.
663
00:26:39,450 --> 00:26:40,680
This is what
chanel
664
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:41,710
When she takes
an overdose
665
00:26:41,750 --> 00:26:43,220
On her anti-depressants.
666
00:26:43,250 --> 00:26:45,020
One time, she got
in a huge fight
667
00:26:45,050 --> 00:26:46,590
With our couch,
and we took her to the doctor,
668
00:26:46,620 --> 00:26:48,190
And he said it was
something called
669
00:26:48,220 --> 00:26:50,860
Emotional lability.
670
00:26:50,890 --> 00:26:51,860
Maybe because
mrs. Baumgartner
671
00:26:51,890 --> 00:26:53,190
Doesn't need the
anti-depressants,
672
00:26:53,230 --> 00:26:54,230
They're screwing with
her brain chemistry
673
00:26:54,260 --> 00:26:55,430
And making her
act all nutty.
674
00:26:55,460 --> 00:26:56,590
Oh, god!
675
00:26:56,630 --> 00:26:57,630
Help me, please!
676
00:26:57,670 --> 00:27:00,440
No!
677
00:27:01,470 --> 00:27:03,130
Why do i have to
do the poses?
678
00:27:03,170 --> 00:27:05,570
Can't you do them and let me
play the doctor part?
679
00:27:05,610 --> 00:27:07,310
Well, i'm not
playing doctor.
680
00:27:07,340 --> 00:27:08,910
I... Am a doctor.
681
00:27:08,940 --> 00:27:12,110
Which means i'm the one who has
a rigorously tested knowledge
682
00:27:12,150 --> 00:27:13,410
Of anatomy. So,
683
00:27:13,450 --> 00:27:14,880
I have to be the one
to examine you,
684
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:16,720
While you get
into the same position
685
00:27:16,750 --> 00:27:18,550
Sheila was in
when her condition started.
686
00:27:18,590 --> 00:27:19,920
Can i just say,
for the record,
687
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:21,100
Before we begin,
that yoga is
688
00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:22,490
Just stretching
for douchebags.
689
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:23,690
Noted.
690
00:27:24,590 --> 00:27:27,090
Okay, so sheila said
691
00:27:27,130 --> 00:27:29,300
When she first started
being symptomatic,
692
00:27:29,330 --> 00:27:32,100
She was in a pose called
"sirsa padasana."
693
00:27:32,130 --> 00:27:33,260
I can't do that.
694
00:27:33,300 --> 00:27:35,230
It's okay.
Don't worry.
695
00:27:35,270 --> 00:27:36,670
I'll help you.
696
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:40,970
Okay, perfect.
697
00:27:41,010 --> 00:27:42,570
Great, now are
you feeling
698
00:27:42,610 --> 00:27:44,610
Pressure anywhere
in particular?
699
00:27:44,650 --> 00:27:46,650
There's an overall feeling
700
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,510
Like i'm gonna snap in half,
but if i really focus,
701
00:27:48,550 --> 00:27:50,350
I can feel some strain
in my lower back,
702
00:27:50,390 --> 00:27:52,460
Kind of running through
my pelvis.
703
00:27:52,490 --> 00:27:54,290
And my butt entrance
feels tingly, but...
704
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:55,550
That's not unusual.
705
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:57,890
One...
706
00:28:02,830 --> 00:28:03,800
Chanel
707
00:28:03,830 --> 00:28:05,430
I'm gonna twist your hips
708
00:28:05,470 --> 00:28:06,830
Just slightly, okay?
709
00:28:12,980 --> 00:28:14,150
What was that?
710
00:28:14,180 --> 00:28:15,340
It felt like you
touched my hooha.
711
00:28:15,380 --> 00:28:17,480
Wh-what happened is, um,
712
00:28:17,510 --> 00:28:20,150
Your sacrospinous ligament runs
713
00:28:20,180 --> 00:28:21,810
From the outer edge
of your sacrum,
714
00:28:21,850 --> 00:28:23,480
To the spine of
your ischium.
715
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,120
And your pudendal nerves run
right beneath that.
716
00:28:26,150 --> 00:28:27,820
So, if there's any
irritation to it,
717
00:28:27,860 --> 00:28:29,860
It would cause
inflammation,
718
00:28:29,890 --> 00:28:32,490
Which would press against
the pudendal nerve,
719
00:28:32,530 --> 00:28:34,830
And cause it to
fire uncontrollably.
720
00:28:34,860 --> 00:28:37,160
So, sheila baumgartner
hurt her thing
721
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:38,700
While doing yoga
and that irritated
722
00:28:38,730 --> 00:28:40,160
Her other thing, and...
723
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:41,400
That thing is
what's making her
724
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:42,680
Pop off all the time?
725
00:28:42,700 --> 00:28:45,570
Yeah. Exactly.
726
00:28:47,110 --> 00:28:49,010
So all i need to do is...
727
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:50,580
Block off her
pudendal nerve
728
00:28:50,610 --> 00:28:52,840
With a simple surgery
729
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:54,110
And she's cured.
730
00:29:01,620 --> 00:29:03,050
Chad!
731
00:29:03,090 --> 00:29:04,590
Chanel!
Chad!
732
00:29:04,630 --> 00:29:06,320
What is going on?
733
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:07,530
What do you mean?
734
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:08,530
Why does something have to be
going on?
735
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:09,560
Can't i just ask you to,
736
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:10,860
You know, meet me
in the park
737
00:29:10,900 --> 00:29:12,400
And walk and talk
some things over?
738
00:29:12,430 --> 00:29:14,430
No, chad. You can't,
because it's super weird
739
00:29:14,470 --> 00:29:16,100
And it seems like
you want to murder me.
740
00:29:16,140 --> 00:29:17,440
I mean, i actually brought
741
00:29:17,470 --> 00:29:18,770
A stun gun!
Wha--
742
00:29:18,810 --> 00:29:20,170
When was the last time
you wanted to,
743
00:29:20,210 --> 00:29:21,870
A) go for
a walk with me,
744
00:29:21,910 --> 00:29:24,480
Or b) have an
actual conversation?
745
00:29:25,550 --> 00:29:26,840
Let's walk and talk.
746
00:29:29,550 --> 00:29:32,050
Look, i've been doing
some soul searching.
747
00:29:32,090 --> 00:29:33,590
I don't know why.
748
00:29:33,620 --> 00:29:35,750
Maybe because another one
of my friends is missing
749
00:29:35,790 --> 00:29:37,220
And presumably murdered.
750
00:29:37,260 --> 00:29:38,790
or because
751
00:29:38,830 --> 00:29:40,730
There's a hot surgeon
with a murdering hand
752
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,460
Obviously trying to
get in that box!
753
00:29:43,770 --> 00:29:45,770
Anyway...
754
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,570
I've been thinking.
755
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,700
About you.
756
00:29:50,740 --> 00:29:52,800
and me.
757
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,310
Us.
758
00:29:54,340 --> 00:29:56,910
Okay.
759
00:30:03,620 --> 00:30:05,750
chanel,
760
00:30:05,790 --> 00:30:07,390
I'm in love with you.
761
00:30:07,420 --> 00:30:09,620
What?
762
00:30:09,660 --> 00:30:12,590
wha...
763
00:30:12,630 --> 00:30:14,390
Even when i told all those
other chicks i was banging
764
00:30:14,430 --> 00:30:16,330
How awesome it was that
they didn't have wangs,
765
00:30:16,370 --> 00:30:17,610
And i was in love
with them,
766
00:30:17,630 --> 00:30:20,430
Really, i was
in love with you.
767
00:30:20,470 --> 00:30:21,800
Really?
768
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:25,170
Love, it's a funny thing.
Isn't it?
769
00:30:26,510 --> 00:30:28,010
Chanel oberlin,
770
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:29,840
Will you...
771
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:31,240
Pedro?
772
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,450
Oh, my god, is this
really happening?
773
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,510
Get your lawyers to look over
this prenup.
774
00:30:35,550 --> 00:30:37,120
Are you asking me
to marry you?!
775
00:30:37,150 --> 00:30:38,350
Oh, not really.
776
00:30:38,390 --> 00:30:39,590
I'll consider asking you
to marry me,
777
00:30:39,620 --> 00:30:40,950
Um, if you sign
the prenup.
778
00:30:40,990 --> 00:30:42,590
Uh, you're gonna want
a whole legal team to,
779
00:30:42,620 --> 00:30:44,320
Kind of, look over this.
There's a lot of stipulations
780
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:45,990
And some pretty
specific riders.
781
00:30:46,030 --> 00:30:47,160
Chad!
782
00:30:47,190 --> 00:30:49,090
I feel like
i'm in a fairy tale!
783
00:30:49,130 --> 00:30:52,130
Yes! Yes!
A thousand times yes!
784
00:31:30,450 --> 00:31:32,950
Once the epidural kicked in,
the orgasms stopped.
785
00:31:32,980 --> 00:31:35,950
Can't you just numb me
from the waist down forever?
786
00:31:35,990 --> 00:31:37,430
That won't be necessary.
787
00:31:37,450 --> 00:31:39,920
I just relieved compression
on your pudendal nerve,
788
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,000
So you should return
to normal functioning.
789
00:31:42,020 --> 00:31:44,460
what will you do with
your newfound freedom?
790
00:31:44,490 --> 00:31:45,660
I am gonna go to the movies,
and i'm
791
00:31:45,690 --> 00:31:47,430
Not gonna worry about
getting kicked out
792
00:31:47,460 --> 00:31:48,800
Because i'm too loud.
793
00:31:48,830 --> 00:31:50,100
And then,
794
00:31:50,130 --> 00:31:51,500
I'm gonna teach a yoga class
795
00:31:51,530 --> 00:31:53,500
Till the very end.
796
00:31:53,540 --> 00:31:54,930
I am gonna enjoy
797
00:31:54,970 --> 00:31:57,540
All of life's pleasures
that have been denied me...
798
00:31:57,570 --> 00:31:58,910
Since all this began.
799
00:31:59,980 --> 00:32:01,950
And we...
800
00:32:01,980 --> 00:32:03,240
Are finished.
801
00:32:05,010 --> 00:32:07,480
Time to start enjoying life
again.
802
00:32:32,210 --> 00:32:33,310
You okay?
803
00:32:33,340 --> 00:32:35,540
I think it's the music, baby.
804
00:32:35,580 --> 00:32:37,140
I get distracted by randb.
805
00:32:37,180 --> 00:32:39,210
You see, it stands for
rhythm and blues,
806
00:32:39,250 --> 00:32:41,080
But it's the least bluesy style
of music
807
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,480
And its rhythm is hardly what's
most remarkable about it.
808
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:47,050
Yeah, that makes sense. Okay.
809
00:32:47,090 --> 00:32:48,590
(upbeat old school
hip-hop plays)
810
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,700
I can't do new jack swing.
811
00:32:55,730 --> 00:32:58,530
See, it reminds me of this film,
new jack city,
812
00:32:58,570 --> 00:33:00,530
And then my mind immediately
goes to wesley snipes
813
00:33:00,570 --> 00:33:03,200
And all his trouble
with the irs.
814
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,540
it's just so sad.
815
00:33:05,570 --> 00:33:06,910
Very sad.
816
00:33:06,940 --> 00:33:07,940
Okay.
817
00:33:10,410 --> 00:33:12,580
Chanel
818
00:33:12,620 --> 00:33:14,920
I'm in love with you.
819
00:33:14,950 --> 00:33:16,420
You'll always be safe with me.
820
00:33:16,450 --> 00:33:18,020
Now, it's time for you
821
00:33:18,050 --> 00:33:20,390
To feel the power...
822
00:33:20,420 --> 00:33:22,560
And the glory...
823
00:33:22,590 --> 00:33:24,060
Of the female orgasm.
824
00:33:26,100 --> 00:33:27,800
I'm sorry.
825
00:33:27,830 --> 00:33:29,800
I don't know what's wrong.
826
00:33:29,830 --> 00:33:32,470
Maybe you're just...
827
00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:33,900
Not into me.
828
00:33:33,940 --> 00:33:37,740
No... I'm very
attracted to you.
829
00:33:37,770 --> 00:33:39,040
It's just that
every time we touch,
830
00:33:39,070 --> 00:33:41,810
You're, like,
freezing.
831
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:43,740
It feels like i'm
hugging a snowman.
832
00:33:43,780 --> 00:33:46,210
Right, but, we dis...
833
00:33:46,250 --> 00:33:48,210
We discussed this.
834
00:33:48,250 --> 00:33:49,920
I'm dead. I...
835
00:33:49,950 --> 00:33:51,720
Hot blood doesn't run
through my veins
836
00:33:51,750 --> 00:33:53,750
Like it does yours.
837
00:33:53,790 --> 00:33:55,760
You want proof?
838
00:34:10,170 --> 00:34:11,640
61 degrees.
839
00:34:11,670 --> 00:34:14,470
Oh, my god.
You are dead.
840
00:34:19,110 --> 00:34:21,510
Where is he?
Who?
841
00:34:21,550 --> 00:34:22,650
The patient!
You had me paged.
842
00:34:22,690 --> 00:34:24,190
They said it was
an emergency.
843
00:34:24,220 --> 00:34:26,820
There is.
I need to talk to you.
844
00:34:26,860 --> 00:34:28,970
Also, uh, i need help tying
this old-fashioned bow tie
845
00:34:28,990 --> 00:34:30,190
For my wedding tomorrow.
846
00:34:30,230 --> 00:34:31,670
I mean, i figured
a guy like you,
847
00:34:31,690 --> 00:34:32,860
Who was around
during the civil war
848
00:34:32,900 --> 00:34:34,470
Would probably know how
to do it.
849
00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:37,200
Okay, i have a dilemma.
All my best buds are dead.
850
00:34:37,230 --> 00:34:38,860
Okay? My frat bros,
then randall
851
00:34:38,900 --> 00:34:41,130
I got no one to be
my best man.
852
00:34:41,170 --> 00:34:42,600
You don't have brothers?
853
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:45,270
Yeah, but i figure
they're probably busy and
854
00:34:45,310 --> 00:34:46,770
Also kind of want to save 'em
to be my best man
855
00:34:46,810 --> 00:34:48,310
For the second wedding.
856
00:34:48,340 --> 00:34:50,480
You know, that's the one
that usually sticks, you know?
857
00:34:50,510 --> 00:34:53,280
Anyway, i was kind of hoping
you'd do it.
858
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,690
I hate you.
859
00:34:55,720 --> 00:34:57,720
But you love chanel!
860
00:34:57,750 --> 00:34:59,220
Look, the best man's
most important job is
861
00:34:59,250 --> 00:35:00,820
To make sure the groom
doesn't freak out
862
00:35:00,860 --> 00:35:01,990
And leave his bride
at the altar.
863
00:35:02,020 --> 00:35:03,120
You get what i'm saying here?
864
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,490
Mm-hmm.
865
00:35:05,530 --> 00:35:08,330
You have cold feet.
866
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,230
look, you're
gonna get this
867
00:35:10,270 --> 00:35:12,710
Because, obviously, we're
both really handsome.
868
00:35:12,740 --> 00:35:14,510
Girls really want
to bone me, okay?
869
00:35:14,540 --> 00:35:16,040
When i die,
i've left instructions
870
00:35:16,070 --> 00:35:17,540
To grind me up
into a fine powder
871
00:35:17,570 --> 00:35:18,800
To be given out
to underprivileged dudes
872
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:20,310
Who have trouble
getting laid.
873
00:35:20,340 --> 00:35:22,580
Because i'm convinced if they
rub my essence on 'em,
874
00:35:22,610 --> 00:35:24,480
They're pretty much
guaranteed to get ass.
875
00:35:24,510 --> 00:35:25,880
Look, i'm not cut out
for monogamy, okay?
876
00:35:25,910 --> 00:35:27,410
This is not what i do.
877
00:35:27,450 --> 00:35:29,750
I mean, in a couple days,
once i bone a girl
878
00:35:29,790 --> 00:35:31,690
At a stop light,
or at an ihop,
879
00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:34,220
Or public park, i'll be
cheating on my wife.
880
00:35:34,260 --> 00:35:35,520
I don't know if
i want to be that guy.
881
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:36,720
Then don't get married.
882
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,090
What? It's a little late
for that.
883
00:35:39,130 --> 00:35:41,830
Getting left at the altar
works in julia roberts movies
884
00:35:41,860 --> 00:35:43,600
Or on grey's anatomy,
885
00:35:43,630 --> 00:35:45,400
But in real life,
that ruins you.
886
00:35:45,430 --> 00:35:49,170
I don't want
to hurt chanel.
887
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:50,770
Isn't that weird?
I just want her to be happy.
888
00:35:50,810 --> 00:35:52,710
I want her to have
a great wedding day.
889
00:35:52,740 --> 00:35:54,540
I don't want my worries
about my future studliness
890
00:35:54,580 --> 00:35:57,080
To get in the way
of her special day.
891
00:35:57,110 --> 00:35:58,680
Whatever happens
down the road,
892
00:35:58,710 --> 00:36:00,510
I want this day
to be for her.
893
00:36:00,550 --> 00:36:02,920
Maybe i almost love her,
you know?
894
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:17,800
You're tying the bow tie
a little tight, bro.
895
00:36:17,830 --> 00:36:19,630
It needs to be tight.
896
00:36:19,670 --> 00:36:20,630
Hold on.
897
00:36:29,910 --> 00:36:32,040
Okay...
898
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:33,280
I'll be your best man.
899
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,050
Hookers to celebrate?
900
00:36:36,090 --> 00:36:37,930
Let's not.
901
00:36:39,790 --> 00:36:41,220
Oh, and you should know,
902
00:36:41,260 --> 00:36:44,460
When you guys
break up in six months,
903
00:36:44,490 --> 00:36:46,260
I'm gonna be there
to comfort chanel
904
00:36:46,300 --> 00:36:48,440
By having a lot
of sex with her.
905
00:36:48,460 --> 00:36:50,300
I wouldn't have it
any other way.
906
00:36:59,510 --> 00:37:01,770
It's a 29-carat
internally flawless
907
00:37:01,810 --> 00:37:04,180
Fancy-vivid diamond
in the extremely rare
908
00:37:04,210 --> 00:37:05,610
"whore cut."
909
00:37:05,650 --> 00:37:07,410
Which is the preferred cut
for mistresses
910
00:37:07,450 --> 00:37:08,450
Of russian billionaires.
911
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:11,580
Wow! That is
one huge diamond.
912
00:37:11,620 --> 00:37:13,120
I know, right?
It's so heavy,
913
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,030
It comes with its own
chiropractor on call,
914
00:37:15,060 --> 00:37:18,190
Has a built-in lojack system,
and is its own wi-fi hot spot.
915
00:37:18,230 --> 00:37:21,460
Ladies, there's something
important i need to ask you.
916
00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:24,300
It may be the most
emotional decision
917
00:37:24,330 --> 00:37:25,630
A bride-to-be
has to make.
918
00:37:25,670 --> 00:37:27,170
Chanel
919
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:29,970
Would you be one
of my bridesmaids?
920
00:37:30,010 --> 00:37:31,480
Of course i would,
chanel.
921
00:37:31,510 --> 00:37:33,340
Zayday, would you
also consider
922
00:37:33,380 --> 00:37:35,180
Being one of my
bridesmaids?
923
00:37:35,210 --> 00:37:37,110
Chanel, i'm so touched.
924
00:37:37,150 --> 00:37:38,180
I would love nothing more.
925
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,620
Chanel
do me the honor,
926
00:37:42,650 --> 00:37:45,350
Of being my ring bearer?
927
00:37:45,390 --> 00:37:47,790
Wait.
928
00:37:47,820 --> 00:37:50,190
Don't i get to be
a bridesmaid, too?
What?
929
00:37:50,230 --> 00:37:53,500
No! News flash, number five,
we're not that close!
930
00:37:53,530 --> 00:37:55,360
It's ring bearer
or nothing!
931
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,400
And just fyi,
932
00:37:57,430 --> 00:37:58,800
You're gonna have to
dress up like a dog
933
00:37:58,830 --> 00:38:00,330
And walk down the aisle
on all fours
934
00:38:00,370 --> 00:38:01,970
With the ring sitting
on a cute little pillow
935
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,840
That is strapped to your back
like a tiny saddle.
936
00:38:03,870 --> 00:38:05,400
Because having a dog
be the ring bearer
937
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:08,540
Is so hot in wedding trends
right now. Oh, and also,
938
00:38:08,580 --> 00:38:10,180
The wedding is tomorrow.
What?
What?
939
00:38:10,210 --> 00:38:11,880
Don't you need to,
like, plan a wedding?
940
00:38:11,910 --> 00:38:15,650
Uh, yeah, i did, this afternoon.
Chad's super rich.
941
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:17,150
I just did a rush order
on everything.
942
00:38:17,190 --> 00:38:18,920
Plus i need to strike
while the iron is hot.
943
00:38:18,950 --> 00:38:21,820
If i wait too long,
chad might change his mind.
944
00:38:21,860 --> 00:38:23,920
Or forget.
945
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:26,190
I'm getting married!
946
00:38:29,570 --> 00:38:33,040
And this is your official
c.U.R.E. Discharge balloon.
947
00:38:33,070 --> 00:38:35,070
This balloon means you've
officially been cured.
948
00:38:35,100 --> 00:38:37,400
Oh, that is so sweet!
949
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,540
Now, does everybody who
gets cured here get one?
950
00:38:39,580 --> 00:38:40,950
They will. You're
the first patient
951
00:38:40,980 --> 00:38:43,380
That's been able to
get cured and survive.
952
00:38:43,410 --> 00:38:44,880
Excuse me?
Nothing.
953
00:38:44,910 --> 00:38:47,280
Well, i guarantee you this.
954
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:50,050
I won't be the last,
because i've already called
955
00:38:50,090 --> 00:38:52,390
The local news,
and told them the story
956
00:38:52,420 --> 00:38:54,720
Of my amazing care
i received here.
957
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:56,960
I plan on putting
both of you guys,
958
00:38:56,990 --> 00:38:58,420
This whole hospital,
on the map.
959
00:38:58,460 --> 00:38:59,890
Hello!
960
00:39:32,930 --> 00:39:35,590
Aah!
All right, green meanie--
961
00:39:35,630 --> 00:39:37,330
Whoever you are--
962
00:39:37,370 --> 00:39:38,800
Let's go, bitch.
963
00:39:44,870 --> 00:39:47,310
Zayday!
964
00:39:47,340 --> 00:39:49,310
Oh, chamberlain,
you're gonna need
965
00:39:49,340 --> 00:39:50,910
A hell of a lot
of stitches.
966
00:39:50,950 --> 00:39:53,010
It's gonna be okay.
967
00:39:53,050 --> 00:39:54,780
I don't understand.
Why didn't he or she
968
00:39:54,820 --> 00:39:55,810
Come after you?
969
00:40:10,010 --> 00:40:11,740
Denise, zayday.
970
00:40:11,780 --> 00:40:13,440
To what do i owe
the pleasure?
971
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:14,980
We're here to welcome you
to the basement
972
00:40:15,010 --> 00:40:16,480
Of the c.U.R.E.
Institute.
973
00:40:16,510 --> 00:40:19,710
You know, i have to say
i am just delighted.
974
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:22,480
But i have to ask,
why the change of heart?
975
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:26,820
Well, your esrun lead
turned out to be legit.
976
00:40:26,860 --> 00:40:30,990
So i pulled a few
strings at quantico
977
00:40:31,030 --> 00:40:33,060
And had you
transferred here,
978
00:40:33,100 --> 00:40:34,600
On the condition that
you cooperate
979
00:40:34,630 --> 00:40:35,960
With our investigation.
980
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,330
Another patient in this
hospital was murdered.
981
00:40:38,370 --> 00:40:40,770
The green meanie chopped
the orgasm lady's head off
982
00:40:40,810 --> 00:40:42,110
Right before my very eyes.
983
00:40:42,140 --> 00:40:43,970
Mm-hmm.
And tried to kill
984
00:40:44,010 --> 00:40:45,610
That little chunky
black orderly.
985
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:47,910
But he refused
to kill me.
986
00:40:47,950 --> 00:40:49,620
And i'd like
to find out why.
987
00:40:49,650 --> 00:40:52,480
Probably 'cause y'all
working together.
988
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:53,680
Would you stop it!
989
00:40:56,690 --> 00:40:57,990
What's so funny?
990
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,120
Stop laughing like that!
It's creepy!
991
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:05,660
Damn it,
you homely bitch,
992
00:41:05,700 --> 00:41:07,160
You tell us who
the green meanie is
993
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:08,800
Before he kills again.
994
00:41:10,230 --> 00:41:11,970
It's too late.
995
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,540
Isn't the groom supposed
to walk down the aisle first?
996
00:42:29,580 --> 00:42:32,110
Chad asked me to come first.
997
00:42:32,150 --> 00:42:34,450
He said i should
get used to it.
998
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:07,150
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